The link is pretty explicit - the blogger has pretty much uncovered the Sheriff's online persona.
I am not in favour of outing, it is a personal issue as we all know.
I am however concerned that as a gay man, Paul is in a pickle. He is a Sheriff in a state that has been very public about Immigration issues. The state passed a law which takes the Sheriff into the immigration issue, whether he wants to be there or not.
Apparently he had a momentary lapse of reason...what guy hasn't. In this case the ex is an illegal immigrant. He is going to use what ever he can to stay.
In my opinion a closeted police office should consider, just as regular police officers have to consider 'Why does this person want to be my friend?' or in this case, a bed partner.
I have a tendency to be very cold and (almost run) when a person that could be a customer is coming on to me. Alberta is a booming province and we have lots of foreign nationals working here. Some of them seek out immigration officers to ....well you know.
Paul, I feel for you, this could impact your election. If you need a place to hide, i have a spare room....
What a dumb thing to do. Unfortunately he and others are not immune from the stupidity of being a LEO and posting their photos on questionable sites. Whether in uniform or not. And supposedly blackmailing the foreign guy wasn't too bright either. I've already seen on other sites that he's being vilified because he is apparently right leaning. Well, no matter what side of the political fence you're on, it's really stupid to do this stuff. And the ones criticizing seem to forget the idiotic foibles of people on their side. Selective amnesia.
I think I've seen this guy on TV. He's a hypocrite, it would seem. If he'd had some cajones and come out, and not try to "allegedly" blackmail the guy it would be one thing. Him taking part and posting a photo when he's fully aware of his position is a just plain stupid blunder. Didn't he know it would come back to bite him? Unfortunately I know of other guys in law enforcement who do and have posted either half naked or more than half naked photos on some of the sites out there. Pathetic and desperate is what I call them. And some are kind of well known enough in GLBT LEO circles that it underscores their stupidity. I won't mention names right now. (wink wink) They know (and so do others) who they are. Makes me shake my head.
When I attended my Police Association's state convention a couple of years ago, the one advice I took to heart was to all the officers, gay or straight.... Stay off the social networks, twitter, facebook, etc...
The fact Sheriff Babeau had a relationship with a Mexican immigrant is surprising enough, given his political leanings, but then to try to wipe the relationship away was a dumb act. As I understand it, the former lover's visa expired. A point that seems to be disputed but that's another argument. I often wonder about men like Sheriff Babeau. He's a Law Enforcement Officer, holds conservative beliefs as many in Law Enforcement do, and is gay. I think that's a lot to reconcile but I suppose if I can do it somewhat with the Catholic Church... you get my drift. I probably would never vote for Sheriff Babeau but as long as he hasn't done anything illegal, the best to him. Give me some time with him, he'll be a democrat in no time. I have my ways...Ha!
As some of you know, I'm Mexican-American (3rd generation on my mom's side, 4th or 5th on my dad's side), so I have my views on the current immigration debate. However, that's for another thread and another ah hum discussion ... grin.
I'd say for sure, he's an embarrassment. Both as a law enforcement officer and a politician. So now he has come out. And now it's up to him and his lawyers to disprove the allegations against him. If he can get out from under the allegations and prove them false, well that's good. But then the onus is on him to step up and redeem himself as an LGBT Law Enforcement Professional. He's in a spotlight whether he likes it or not. If he get's elected, it's even more important to step forward and show some pride.
In politics, there are dirty games being played every day, unfortunately. We all know this. If he loses the election, still, it's his duty to step up as an LGBT LEO. Scandals are nothing new in politics. The guys who get caught in gay related scandals usually put themselves in that position. Just like straight politicians. Except they don't get outed as straight! Political affliliation doesn't make anyone immune from scandal. As long as Mary Jo Kopechne is dead and Monica Lewinsky is alive that will be true.
The best thing that can happen for this guy is #1: Get the hell off of Adam-To-Adam or whatever it's called. #2: Disprove the allegations if they are, in fact, not true. #3: Try to get himself elected if that's what he continues to try to do. #4: No matter what the result of the allegations and elections, step up to the plate and represent himself as a professional LBGT representative. He has to redeem himself if he wants any real crediblity. Anything short of this is BS.
Ariz Sheriff Comes Out After Misconduct Claim
A nationally known sheriff resigned from presidential hopeful Mitt Romney’s Arizona committee and acknowledged he was gay amid allegations of misconduct made by a man with whom he previously had a relationship.
But Pinal County Sheriff Paul Babeu vowed Saturday to continue his bid for the GOP nomination in Arizona’s rural 4th Congressional District race.
He denied claims he tried to threaten the man, a Mexican immigrant and a former campaign volunteer, with deportation if their past relationship was made public. The man’s allegations were first published Friday in the Phoenix New Times, an alternative weekly magazine.
Babeu, a first-term sheriff who has gained widespread attention with his strong opposition to illegal immigration and smuggling, said the accusations were an attempt to hurt his political career.
He said he had called presidential candidate Mitt Romney’s staff to say he would step down from his post as state campaign co-chair.
"This whole rumor, this whole of idea of who I am in my private life has been shopped around," Babeu told reporters during an hour-long press conference Saturday in front of his sheriff’s office. "This was a way, the hook, of how this could be brought out, and to malign and attack a sheriff who does stand for conservative principals, who does enforce the law."
The man’s lawyer, Melissa Weiss-Riner, released a statement Saturday saying the man retained her firm’s services because he was contacted by Babeu’s attorney and "felt intimidated."
Babeau is nothing more than a closet gay who has made no contributions to the struggle for LGBT advancement in law enforcement. We, along with many others, have been in the forefront of this struggle since the beginning of GOAL New York. We have worked constantly with LGBT criminal justice professionalsl here, and around the world to have our issues addressed often under very dangerous conditions. We have produced annual conferences since 1995 and together we stand tall, proud, AND out and open. So, where has he been all this time? Trooling sex websites, picking up all kinds of people including illegal immigrants, hiding in a professional closet, and alligning himself with people that are no friends of the LGBT community. in my oppinion, he's a dollar short and a day late. If he wasn't involved in this mess, he would still be closeted and doing NOTHING to help his fellow LGBT law enforcement professionals not to mention the LGBT community in general. He is not a member of any of our organizations and he has never attended a LGBT criminal justice conference. This does not suprise me. There have alwlays been those who are a part of the LGBT community but really have no respect for it. They're not here for the pride, they're only here for the dick. We have accomplished many great things, for our community, down through the years. I take great pride in knowing this. And we have done so without the participation of the babeau's in this world. In May, when we all meet for the conference in Orlando, I'm sure he will not be there. He will not be a part of the professional workshops or the social events that brings together as family. He will not be a part of our ongoing struggle. He will be too busy trying to curry favors from our enemies as he marches to the beat of their drum hoping that nobody will smell the shame that surrounds him. With any luck, perhaps they will set up a dog bowl, under a table, at their convention, so he can enjoy some dinner. That's exactly where he belongs.
Last Edit: Feb 19, 2012 17:53:04 GMT -5 by prydeguys
[YmP:http://i12.tinypic.com/4dri0du.jpg]"Darling, I love you but give me Park Avenue!!"
It all comes down to the old "all dick and no balls" syndrome that we've seen over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.......doesn't it, Carroll? It is sooooooo tiring when I think about it. We've seen it so many times and unfortunately we'll see it again and again and.....well, you know. The worst part of it is when they try to justify it. And there is no justification. None. (Other than when it's physically dangerous to do so. And not to use the danger aspect as a crutch or excuse)
If you can put your half or all naked photo on one of those sleazeball sites, then you should have guts enough to come out.
Last Edit: Feb 19, 2012 18:59:33 GMT -5 by bluepride
Post by edmontongreg on Feb 19, 2012 19:26:10 GMT -5
i am going to be the Devil's Advocate on this. i am newly out, so i still remember the fear of being found out. Let's look at his non-political side. He is an officer and he probably was a damn good one. Maybe to appease his family he is a Conservative (read Republican). I leave in a Province which is conservative. i know gay men that vote conservative cause they have never though of voting any other way. Discussing it with them is banging your head against a wall. They all have a knowing look like - 'You don't know what the hell you are talking about'. Republican thinking is let me live my life, don't tell me how to do it. Why they have their minds mired in the gay bedrooms in the nation, I'll never know. I have been in a gay bedroom, it is not that interesting.
So back to the guy, he was comfortable in his level of outness. He felt safe posting photos of himself on the sites because he worked with a pile of rednecks and they would never go there. What a wrong wrong decision that was. I know officers that join those sites on purpose to see who they may know (they are the guys with the 'No photo available').
Organizations like Blue Pride are there to support officers who are gay. I would think that there have been members of this site who aren't out yet and are looking for support; leading to coming out. If that were the only issue with this Sheriff, I would think he could be pointed in this direction.
But - this guy has some dangerous baggage. I think he should have tossed it yesterday. Coming out was the first step. He should have also distanced himself from the homophobic element of the GOP. GOProud is suffering right now, they could have used a boost like this guy could give them.
Instead he decided to make himself look like a victim. Do the people of Arizona want a victim leading them? i think they want a man with a pair. i is not too late, maybe someone will show hm SFPD's video. Maybe he will reach out. I think someone has to offer advice or this may end not in a good way.
Greg, all of your points are well, well taken. I think my stance on being out, as well as Carroll's as well, are borne out of what we've personally been through. Both individually and in a lot of cases together. Carroll was a civilian member of the NYC Dept of Correction and I was with NYPD. I pretty much walked around with a dotted line on my neck that said "Chop Here" on it back in the early 80's. Joining GOAL in January 1983 was a turning point for me because I didn't feel alone anymore. It wasn't always easy being a cop back then and juggling both lives in the air. At one point I decided it was easier to combine the two, while still separating the two, if that makes sense. In other words, "Yeah, I'm gay but more importantly I'm a Police Officer. Back the f*ck off and let me do my job. I guess I had the New York attitude.
There were some rough times but there were also the best times of my life. I got through any bad times and I knew that I wasn't going to take any sh*t from anyone. Of course, I did take some sh*t. You can't avoid it sometimes. But I dealt with it. And went on from there. All the experiences I've gone through have made me the man that I am. I still get mad at gay people who intentionally leech off of our community. I still get mad at Police Departments that allow discrimination. I do get mad at departments who pander to us as if we're weak children and "tolerate" us. I get mad at gay cops who hide. I still protect those cops who would face termination or violence if they come out. In almost one quarter way through the twelfth year of the twenty first century, that still happens. And I can't stand some of the frivolousness in our community. And the backbiting and jealousy and one upmanship either. And yeah, I criticize our community because sometimes I expect more out of them. I don't care if people don't like it. I've been around long enough to claim it as my right.
Some of the things this guy Paul has apparently done falls into some of the things I don't like. I'm reasonably sure he's had it pretty easy during his life. Without reservation, I can say his life and career can't touch mine. Especially in gay matters. Not to be redundant, but I've been through the wringer and so has Carroll. There are things that even he doesn't know that I've dealt with yet. Maybe I'll never tell him. God knows we have enough experiences separately and together that would curl your hair. Sometimes I call us the "Bruise Brothers". We've gotten into some situations, as grown men that I seriously thought we wouldn't get out of. At least without a trip to the hospital! Carroll can tell you. Some of them were as serious as a heart attack and some were, while dangerous, made me think we were the second coming of Lucy and Ethel. They were that funny.
Before I ramble any further, just suffice it to say Babeu has to earn his stripes from here on in. He'll never be as good as some of our members here and others who are not part of Blue Pride. He'll never have the experience that a lot of us have had. Even though I wish him well in some respects, no matter how things turn out for him.......I don't want him being put on a pedestal by anyone in our community when the dust settles. He has a lot of credibility and stripes to earn.
I will now step down, as gracefully as possible, from my soapbox. ;D
Post by edmontongreg on Feb 19, 2012 21:12:15 GMT -5
Part of the reason I took so long to come out is that I never had a boyfriend. I always told my friends if I was in a long term relationship, part of my commitment to him was going to be to come out. Not for him, but for me. Looking back, i made it bigger than it was. Although the ex may have had an issue with my son coming to a gay couple's place. But as a parent, that was one of the things i was on the watch for. If a guy even joked about my son. Well that was as close as he got to him.
But this dude had a partner. It wasn't just a fling, it appears to be a long term thing. I have seen guys in LTRs where one guy refuses to come out. I can see it as being destructive. That is where we are not the same. He was lying to his family, co workers, his community and most importantly to himself. We know it isnt a phase.
In a way I am glad this occurred. It makes people think how they should be honest. By coming out, the guy would have taken the power away from the haters and blackmailers.
The lesson in this is to other gay men and women and the young ones. sure it sucks to be him, but life was never meant to be easy.
This is why I say, I wonder about men like Sheriff Babeau. He had a long term relationship. How could he have hidden it so long from his co-workers, friends, family. He is running for Congress, didn't he something like being Gay, especially in Arizona, would have hit the papers sooner or later?
It sounds like he was taking advantage of changing attitudes to live his private life while holding on to a public image of the tough law enforcement officer. Relying on all the benefits such a image bring in a conservative state like Arizona. This is not saying a Law Enforcement Officer cannot be "tough". We all know better, but conservatives do not share this thought.
Could Sheriff Babeau be the gay version of New Gingrich? You know the attitude that says, what I did in the past, I did. I said I was sorry, so let's move on. It no longer means anything to me, I want this (insert political office) now.
Political quandary aside, the misuse of his office to intimidate or force his ex-boyfriend to be silent doesn't sound very good. Misconduct, Misuse of Office, Criminal activity,we're going to have to let the events pan out.
The hypocrisy stems from having his gay life, taking advantage of everything that life affords, including having a boyfriend and then presenting himself in a very public position on a very conservative platform.
I can understand him not being "out" at work. I live in Texas and for the most part, we all live that way as well down here. But living discretely is much different than living a very diverse life privately, but then publicly advocating and wanting to be a warrior (running for Congress) for the policies that are designed to classified that very life as less. What would be next, our very value of existence?
For Sheriff Babeau knows that being former military, and a current sheriff, he gives a very masculine persona in public. He doesn't flip his wrist, he doesn't use his hand all over the place, he doesn't advocate for all the touchy-feely issues. He smiles only enough to show confidence and approval in public. In addition, he knows standing for conservative principles in his area will add to his masculine persona. He knows in his area, such persona of masculinity will equate to voters automatically thinking he's "straight". Because to a conservative, masculine = straight, which is OK, but more important for him to know as a conservative, gay does not equate masculinity, not in his "Good Ole Boy" county. Sheriff Babeau knows all this, he's lived it. Even if he didn't hide it and his close inner circle knew, and even if there are "rumors", as long as he wasn't forthcoming about his sexuality, or make it real by coming out, and he could control the knowledge (which it seems he attempted to do), he'd could use his defaulted persona to his advantage. Thus, the lying by omission, the hypocrisy. And it sounds like, if it wasn't for this ex-boyfriend, he would have never mentioned his sexuality. So, now, he doing damage control and trying to divert the attention to other issues much like Newt attempted to do with his past inability to be a faithful husband, especially when his wives took ill. Questions of Character aren't just for President Clinton anymore. And, Sheriff Babeau, nor Speaker Gingrich, are no President Clinton.
Like many Republicans, it's all about the image, the facade,what's behind the facade is not addressed. True, you can say that about a lot of politicians, but Republicans fanatically strive for everyone to be the same and if you're not like me, you're the one who's gotta be wrong, undesirable, not to be regarded. Men wear gray suits with red ties, women wear red dresses with pearls and reasonable pumps. You must speak my language, celebrate only the holidays I can relate and deem appropriate, and learn and know of only the history I see that is correct, the true American history. Love, marriage,children, family, happiness, stability, and morality is only for the male/female dynamic. Respect life before birth but once you are born, you are on your own, literally, open to every discrimination, disadvantage and unfair practice we can throw at you because to try to help means you're re-distributing my wealth. infringing on my life with government help, and that means socialist. Of course we don't know what a real socialist is because we were not allowed to learn that in school because we're taught only what the old geezers and a few old maids down the street dictated. Oh yeah, one last thing, we will kill you if you screw up too bad because, well, we're just good christian bitches. group. Diversity is American to a Republican only if nothing is seen to be different. My reference of what's American is the "true American" , not yours. So, in my view for a gay person to want to be such a warrior for such a stance is being a teenie weenie bit hypocritical .
Now, I of course don't know all the details, the gay network has yet to telleport the info over the gaynet to my hot little Ronna Barrett ears, but it's beginning to sound like the good sheriff was not the best of a boyfriend and even a worse ex-boyfriend. He may look hot and studly, but let me tell you cowboy, everything that glitters is not gold.
Just a thought... (Who used to say that?...ehh Rona)...